Written by Vekas the Wicked Tree
By the gods, no! Not another beta weekend! Anything but that!
Sure, I get it. You want to play TERA. For you, a closed beta weekend is chance to explore more of the game, maybe try a new character, perhaps see the inside of Sinestral Manor.
But for me, beta weekend means "dying horribly, thousands of times an hour." So yeah, your weekend is gonna turn out better than mine.
I'm gonna get stabbed, chopped, impaled, lit on fire, and walloped with the power of the gods. It seems like all the races of the world have come together in harmony...to kill me.
(The poporis are the worst. Their laughter--it haunts my nightmares.)
And it's so unfair! That cruel human, Nivek, has it out for me.
My crime? I like bacon! Who doesn't? Just because I'm a tree doesn't mean I can't like meat! That's tree-ism, and it's just plain wrong!
Maybe En Masse did something nice for me in the patch notes. Wait...what's this?
"...will spawn three in the area..."
"...shortened the respawn timers..."
NOOOOO! Those bipedal bastards! I'm gonna get killed way, way, WAY more than ever before!
That's it. As soon as these betas are done, I'm outta here. I'm gonna find some MMO where trees are just trees and there's a lot less stabbing, chopping, impaling, igniting, and walloping.